For Those Of You Who Might Not Know
In 2020,
to celebrate 20 years of bringing you Zappa and related news via my Idiot
Bastard website, I wrote an essay a month providing answers to some of
those questions no one ever asks me. Yes, I gave 12 FUQs (Frequently Unasked
Questions)! Most of these – slightly updated and modified, together with a few
other articles (including one about Frank’s brief stint as a beat poet), can
now be found in my Zappa FUQs e-book,
exclusively available from my online shop.
And now, here’s a
new one for 2023.
#17: I Don’t Wanna Get Drafted (Again)
In early 1980, with his new home studio still not quite up
and running, FZ wrote and recorded I
Don’t Wanna Get Drafted. The song was heavily promoted on his 1980 World
Tour via regular inclusion in set-lists (sadly not at the Mudd Club or in
Munich), merchandise (t-shirts, button badges) and the physical product being
made available through special distribution deals agreed along the way.
Once the tour was
over and the Utility Muffin Research Kitchen was open for business, he
re-recorded an up-tempo version for his next album.
Here’s the story
of the piece, as told by those involved.
Tommy Mars: We were having a dinner break and Frank was
talking about World War Two. It was like history class. I remember Ike Willis'
eyes were wide open and he said, “You
really mean that, Frank? This shit really happened?” “Yeah, asshole – read a history book once in a while!”
Arthur Barrow: At the time there was speculation that the
government might reinstate the military draft...
TM...and it just infuriated
Frank.
Frank Zappa: I disagree with the draft because it makes
people do something they don't want to do. The service should offer legitimate incentives,
not just money. To pay, feed, house, clothe and train reluctant recruits is
stupid.
TM: Frank had found a lick he liked and was just
doing it incessantly. You felt the band was pregnant. It was a situation where
you didn't know if the baby was going to come out. Then all of a sudden, he
said, “Put down the burritos, I think we
got a new tune boys.” And he started writing the
lyrics right out. The baby was delivered!
AB: He wrote it quickly, and came up with a
spiffy arrangement with me playing keyboards instead of bass. He thought with
the timeliness of the subject matter he could have a hit single on his hands
and decided we should go into a studio and record it right away. So off we went
to Ocean Way Studios in Hollywood to record a single version of the new song.
Dale Bozzio: Frank invited me to record on the
track. I was living with Terry, so I went wherever Terry went. I was not
working but Frank had me on the payroll. Frank asked, “You want to sing today?” “Yeah,
Frank,” I said. He told me to go into the vocal booth and sing the chorus.
He sang me the section, “I don't wanna
get drafted. Wars are really ugly. They're dirty and they're cold. I don't want
nobody to shoot me in the foxhole." He sang
it to me in a falsetto voice and he got high pitched when he sang the word
‘foxhole’. I was laughing because he sang it so high. I went into the vocal
booth and sang the part. Frank said, "Okay
that was good, but can you sing it up an octave?" I was just a kid and
I had no idea what he was talking about. Frank looked at me and asked, "Do you know what an octave is?"
I had to admit I didn't know. There was dead silence. In my head, I was
freaking out knowing I caused Frank to do the ice pick in the forehead thing.
He told me, "It's alright. Go home tonight
and learn what an octave is. Then you come back tomorrow and sing that up an
octave. Okay?" Okay. I felt so hurt and crushed. I walked down the
hall of the studio and there was Thomas Nordegg, sitting there passing the
time. He was leaning on his hand like the famous Rodin sculpture The Thinker. I
asked him, "Thomas, what is an
octave?" He said, "An
octave is DOO then higher DOO! Octave."
Problem solved.
FZ: It's a song that people would enjoy hearing
while driving in their cars. It definitely says something that's on the minds
of young people.
AB: Frank got it released almost immediately.
FZ: An example of record company stupidity
occurred when I sent the single to Phonogram. A guy over there received it and
he didn't want to put it out, because he used to be in the Army and he didn’t
like the lyrics. That one guy decided he didn't want to go on it. A number of
violent arguments ensued between by manager and him, and between my manager and
the president of the company. Finally, the president of the company heard the
record and called back and said he thought it was great and would go on it.
We'll see what happens.
AB: Disappointingly, no hit single
FZ: I think the lyrics hit it right on the head:
if there's gonna be a war and it's a big one, it'll be a pushbutton one.
Marching around in the dirt is stupid.
AB: Just after the recording session, about five
weeks before the tour was scheduled to begin, I got word that Vinnie Colaiuta
had decided to quit the band. He had been asked to record an album with some
other group. It was his dream to do session work, and apparently he thought
doing the record was more important to his career than doing another Zappa
tour.
David Logeman: Even though I was replacing Vinnie, he didn't
want a Vinnie Colaiuta-type player. The fact that I could play jazz and rock
was a big deal.
AB: After the tour, Frank was eager to get into
his new home recording studio for the first time to record the new songs we had
been playing.
Jimmy Carl Black: One night, Denny Walley came by and so did
Motorhead. We recorded our parts on Drafted
Again. Frank paid me real well, and I think it paid off for him because the
album You Are What You Is was a great
success musically. You know, that album was originally going to be called Fred Zeppelin, but then John Bonham
died, and Frank changed the title.
Ahmet Zappa: The experience itself was really fun. I
thought that my dad was feeling what I was doing! I did a few takes. That was
really great because Moon went into the studio afterwards and I was listening
to her and she was singing in this affected, character voice. And I thought
that was kinda cool...it just felt like I'm doing something with my big sister,
and we were all doing something with Frank, and we couldn't believe it was on
the album.
Mark Pinske: I think Ahmet was about six years old then? I
did a 'Johnny Olson' lead vocal track on that one. Frank edited it together to
use instead of a guitar solo. He used to laugh at my imitation of Johnny Olson,
the announcer for The Price Is Right.
I also did some other vocal parts on the record, mainly some falsetto parts.
DL: Frank asked me if I could do military style cadence
drumming, which of course I can: I played in tons of marching bands in my
youth. I remember Frank telling me why he wrote the song and the political
implications supporting his lyrics.
FZ: Today's audience
don't know what drafting means. They really don't have any idea what it means
for somebody to say because you're a certain age, we
can make you go die for nothing. They don't know that. And they don't
understand that in 1971, when 18-year-olds got the right to vote and could
literally vote the draft away, that was a major change in US policy. A lot of
people opposed it. But teenagers' memories of recent history are not all that
terrific.
© February 2023 The Idiot Bastard
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Photo: IBS.